francesmasters

From coaching to counselling…a spectrum…a hierarchy or a continuum?

2012-02-23T11:16:00.000-08:00

I often find an analogy helpful in unpicking a concept, and was listening this morning to an interesting discussion on the quantum behaviour of macroscopic objects where there was much debate about superconductors and resistance........

To bring in another analogy, it seems to me that we are witnessing a therapeutic evolution which is very exciting, not just for the therapeutic world but for our clients, who have a range of needs from resolution of emotional or mental health issues to functioning at optimum level.

If we look at coaching and counselling in context, I think we can start to see how separatism of the disciplines is really an illusion. There have always been counsellors, those wise sages or elders of the village who simply had lived long enough to impart good advice to the less experienced or less wise.

There have also always been coaches, with roots in existential philosophy and motivational wisdom as in ‘The universe is change. Our life is what our thoughts make it.’ Marcus Aurelius (161-180AD)

It seems to me that, whether people are trying to make sense out of their emotional lives or striving for peak performance in the work place, emotional intelligence underpins the process and ‘therapeutic conversation’ is the key.

It’s no surprise that, whether sports coaching, executive coaching, therapeutic coaching or counselling, the old wisdom still applies. Even Freud said ‘Everywhere I go, I find a poet has been there before me.’

To pick up the original analogy, when there is change, there will be resistance.

I see the BACP Coaching Division as a ‘superconductor’, enabling these conversations and possibly accelerating a process which is inevitable. I believe the disciplines will and should merge, and this parallels my own experience of growing organically from counsellor to therapeutic coach.

As American football coach, Vince Lombardi said “The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.”

…..which is actually a quote from Confucius (551– 479 BC) !

when two world collide

2012-02-16T14:50:00.000-08:00

When two worlds collide

Over in Switzerland, the large Hadron collider is busy bouncing protons and neutrons off each other in an effort to discover more about the origins of our universe.

But what if some of those particles didn’t bounce? What if they merged? Fusion can be defined as: The merging of different elements into a union.

If two planets collide, damage occurs. If one planet is much larger, perhaps it absorbs the other. Sometimes that is a good thing. There’s evidence that our own planet earth was hit many times during its history, sometimes by rocks and space debris, sometimes by larger asteroids. One particularly large impact knocked Earth sideways, changing its angle of tilt. As a result, the Earth started to have seasons: winter for the hemisphere tilted away from the sun, and summer for the hemisphere tilted towards the sun.

When elements collide, there is a reaction. When elements merge, something new is formed.

The worlds of counseling and coaching have previously been viewed as separate disciplines, or two communities who spoke a different language. But with the creation of the new BACP Coaching Division, a lingua franca is beginning to emerge.

The fusion of counseling skills with coaching tools and strategies has led to the creation of something very new and powerful in the world of therapy and something which is now available to you in a brief and intensive training programme validated and accredited by the National College of Further Education.

the map is not the territory

2012-02-09T05:39:00.000-08:00

I saw some thing the other day which reminded me of an old joke. Travelling to work, I passed the local chip shop called ‘MR CHIP but something was different this time. The C had fallen off (or been removed by local youngsters) and it now read ‘MR HIP’.

I’m used to searching for meaning as a part of my work and so I found I was struck by the difference a small change can make. Removal of the C had changed the message ‘MR HIP’ was now sending out into the community!

It made me smile and I knew I was travelling too far down the road of analysis. Even Freud said ‘sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!’

At this point, my neural connections took me too an old joke which went:

‘My wife died’

‘Sorry to hear that. What did she die of?’

The big C

‘Yes, that’s a devastating disease.’

No, you’ve got it wrong. She was standing under the chip shop sign and the big C fell off and broke her neck!

A bit like the two Ronnie’s four candles sketch, the laugh lies in the misinterpretation, the assumptions we make. Like predictive text, our computing brains hear half a story and skip to the end or come to a conclusion even if it is the incorrect conclusion

We human beings are hard wired to do that.

It takes milliseconds to make up our minds about a person when we first see them. We try very hard to ‘box them up’ and place them into an area which says ‘friend’ or ‘foe’, ‘my tribe’ or ‘another tribe’. In the days of the caveman, that ability could, of course, be a life saver and can be today if you are confronted by an individual with whom you feel unsafe.

And yet, if we make assumptions or label people, we create a one dimensional interpretation of that person.

Stereotyping is lazy. Whilst acknowledging our predisposition to put people in handy boxes, we need to challenge our assumptions. Once we’ve made an assumption and created the label, again, due to our wiring, we then look for the evidence that we are right and ignore the things which conflict with our assumptions. That is until we are confronted with reality or evidence to the contrary (like the chip shop joke).

A paradigm shift occurs when the map you have in your head is challenged by new incoming information which forces you to reassess and shuffles up all the paper work in your head.

Like the story Steve Covey recounts in his book The Seven Habits of highly Effective People;

He was sitting on a subway train full of commuters, some reading newspapers, some dozing quietly, when a man got on the train with four unruly children who proceeded to run up and down the carriage annoying the occupants. The man was seated next to Covey who felt compelled to say something.

He leaned across and spoke quietly ‘you should do something about your children’. The man seemed startled, like waking from a dream and replied;

‘Yes, you’re right. I should do something about my children. But we came from the hospital where their mother died this morning ……..and I don’t know what to do about my children.’

Sometimes, something is said or done, or we read something which changes our perception, challenges our assumptions and reshuffles all the paperwork in our head.

When we makes assumptions about people or events and jump to conclusions, we miss much of the story or deny ourselves the opportunity to see the three dimensional person

Our internal maps send us messages designed to help us navigate the world in which we find ourselves and are made of all our previous experiences bur as Robert Dilts explained ‘the map is not the territory’.

Staying open to new incoming information which may conflict with our assumptions allows us to stay flexible and accept that just because we think something is true, does not mean it is true.

The new accredited therapeutic coaching diploma. six work shops over three months.

become a registered and licensed therapeutic life coach

www.fusion-coach.com

‘Free up Some Memory, Mum’

2012-02-06T04:13:00.001-08:00

My son departed for Singapore last week, but, before he went, he did me an enormous favour.

I had been aware for quite some time that my computer was running slow. I would press various relevant buttons and sit and watch the annoying egg timer on screen while the machine struggled to keep up with my commands. Things were still getting done, but I knew this was not as efficient as it could be.

‘You’ve got to free up some memory.’ My son explained. ‘Look at your desktop. It’s covered with bits of this and bits of that. Let’s get organised and put them in folders.’

He ran some kind of cleaning devise as well. I don’t need to know the details, just like I don’t need to know how my car works to drive it or how the magical radio waves get into transistor when I turn the dial.

But I was all too aware of the effect. My computer is running faster and more efficiently and I am…….calmer as a result. Now I press buttons and the screen is responsive. I simply get more done. I had started to think I needed a new computer, that my current one was old and past its sell by date.

It occurred to me that in 2011, a parallel process had been going on for me as I struggled to keep up with various commitments. I had cultivated a ‘yes’ mind set over many which meant I had a towards attitude that carried me into new projects, plans and adventures. And this was a good thing, except now I found I had little spare capacity and my internal landscape, just like my computer desk top, was full of ‘bits of this and bits of that’ as I struggled to make real progress in any one area.

Just like my old computer, I began to think my brain could not keep up with my ambitions, but thankfully I was wrong.

I simply needed to’ defragment’. I had to stop for a while and take a step back from all of my commitments and get a wider view, noticing of course, my choices. In doing so, I realised that too many ideas and projects had captured my attention and were preventing me from really focusing on something which now needed spare capacity.

The concept of therapeutic coaching, the combining of the two previously separate worlds of counselling and coaching, led me to co found the charity Reclaim Life. I have since trained many volunteers to coach therapeutically and holistically, in a prescriptive 5 session format which now challenges the notion of how much training and financial investment it takes to have a ‘therapeutic conversation.’

That organisation is now flourishing and helping many people in the community, staffed and supported by some wonderful and caring volunteers.

Now it is time to take the next step, a leap of faith which will further challenge current thinking about what is useful in promoting emotional health and well being.

My spare capacity and freed up memory have been put to good use in now establishing the accreditation of my brief and intensive training programme by the National College of Further Education. See http://www.fusion-coach.com/ for details.

Having cleared my internal desktop from distracting clutter, I can start to focus on this new project and feel reassured that my brain had not reached capacity as I had feared, but simply needed reorganising to be faster and more efficient.

I am certainly in new territory again now and it feels a bit scary. Mistakes may be made but as I say to clients….’I can recommend a book which I think you will find helpful called Feel the Fear and Do it Any way. You don’t even need to read it because the complete message is in the title!’

‘Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm’ Winston Churchill

A sticking plaster? at www.fusion-coach.com

2012-01-21T07:40:00.000-08:00

A sticking plaster?

I burned myself on the oven door…ouch!........that hurt.

I pulled back sharply but it was too late and I could already see a bright red mark starting to appear.

I ignored it and went on with my life.

Several days later, I glanced at my wrist and could see an impressive purple weald that had scabbed over. ‘Aaaah……..clear evidence of the body’s ability to heal itself’ I thought.

This is something I am always relaying to clients. ‘Your body knows how to heal itself….all by itself and you don’t have to do a thing about that. It has innate knowledge.

The parallel is clear. Your mind also knows how to heal……and sometimes you don’t need to do anything about that…it can happen all by itself.

And yet, a couple of days later, I was out shopping and suddenly noticed a steam of bright red blood trailing from my wrist and leaving tiny red splashes on my coat.

It occurred to me that I had not provided a safe environment for my burn to heal….a sticking plaster would have been useful protection while that was happening.

A plaster for this kind of injury would have been ideal…and a sensible precaution.

But what if it had been another kind of wound? What if I had fallen over in the garden and gashed my arm? Would it have been sensible to put a plaster on it or would it have been useful to examine the wound first, to see if there was some grit or dirt or something which might infect or fester?

Sometimes the wound needs closer examination. Sometimes it needs cleansing before covering and allowing for the healing to happen.

It’s not the sticking plaster which does the healing. Your body, your mind knows how to do that, given a healing environment.

Yet sometimes, we can put the plaster on too quickly…….cover it up before taking a good look.

Cleaning the wound out can feel painful……….but sometimes it has to be done.

See details of the newly accredited Thereuputic Coaching Diploma at http://www.fusion-coach.com/

'do not go where the path may lead. go instead where there is no path and leave a trail'

2011-10-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

Ralph Waldo Emerson, transcendental philosopher and observer of humankind was asked to sum up his work, and said his central doctrine was "the infinitude of the private man."
In my work as psychotherapist and life coach, concepts and insights are conveyed through metaphor. Today's story is called 'the path' and connects with the neuroplastic nature of the human brain...more of that later.

As Judy looked across the field, she could see the daffodils quite clearly on the brow of the hill.

Like a golden sea, they moved and swayed, wave upon wave of yellow flowers.

‘I would love to be there’ thought Judy

‘What a wonderful place to sit and relax for a while, up on the hill, breathing in the cool fresh air.

She opened the gate to the field and started to follow the path, hoping it would lead her to the daffodils.

But after a while, she realised the path was taking her into some woods. Still she followed the path hoping it would branch off at some point.

Further and further into the woods she went as it grew darker and darker around her. The undergrowth was quite dense here and the thorns threatened to tear her clothing.

The leaves formed a heavy canopy over her head so the no sunlight permeated the trees and Judy began to feel quite cold.

After a while, Judy decided to turn around and find her way back to the gate where she looked across at the shimmering hill in the distance.

It became clear to Judy that she could not get to the flowers through the wood and so she set off, straight across the field, her feet treading down the grass beneath her, walking in a straight line with the daffodils ahead of her, keeping them in her eye line, it was easy to see where she was going until, at last she came to them, breathing in the heady aroma of spring.

And from up there on the hill, amongst the golden daffodils, things looked different and, looking back, Judy could see the new path that she had made through the green grass.

see more on http://www.oldthatchcoaching.co.uk/

words that heal.....

2011-10-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

As a psychotherapeutic coach, I am often amazed at the healing power of a well placed therapeutic story. Since ancient times, we have known that stories paint pictures in the mind.

We now know more about the workings of the silent right hemisphere, which has no language but see the world in shapes and concepts and images

This story was written for a vicar in crisis. Significant therapeutic concepts are in bold.

There is more on my website http://www.oldthatchcoaching.co.uk/

and more stories will follow....Enjoy!

The apple tree

In the garden of the cottage stood an apple tree.

Nobody knew how long it had been there but it was central to the garden. Every autumn after a bumper harvest of beautiful green apples, its leaves would wither and die and fall to the ground, as is the natural order of things.

But every spring, at the first glint of summer warmth, the tiny buds on its branches would erupt into new life, creating before long, bunches of fragrant blossom and a beautiful green canopy for the garden, where the family would come and shade themselves from the intensity of the full sun, and holding the promise of more delicious apples for the autumn.

Every year was the same. The apple tree was steady, reliable and constant, following the gentle rhythms of the seasons, beautiful in its simplicity.

And the apple tree felt good. It was wonderful to be so appreciated, so central to the garden and so loved by the family.

Yet, one day something terrible happened.

Builders, who had been working on the cottage thoughtlessly, cut through one of the apples tree’s largest roots sending shock waves through the tree to its very core.

At first the tree felt numb. Nothing like this had happened before and now the tree became angry, berating the builders for their foolishness.

And then it grew frightened, feeling unsteady in the wind now, unstable. Every time the wind would blow, the tree would hold itself very tight and shout ‘Leave me alone, I cannot withstand your force. Can you not see I have lost my strength? Would you have me fall down?’

But the wind continued to blow, as is the natural order of things.

A bird that lived in the tree had an idea. ‘Why do you not ask the King of the Trees for some help? He is old and wise and he will surely know what you should do at this uncertain time.’

‘Of course’ said the tree. ‘In my anger and fear, I could not think clearly, but now I can see that you are right. But how will I get a message to the King?

‘It is the natural order of things,’ said the bird ‘that I have the freedom of the skies and so I can take your message deep into the heart of the woods where the King resides.’

‘So be it’ said the tree.

And with a flap of his wings, the bird was gone, soaring high into the sky and disappearing somewhere among the drifting clouds.

The apple tree waited…….and waited. Several days passed by and the tree felt deserted, without support, creaking and groaning in the wind and fearing the weakness caused by the damaged root.

And the old apple tree grew sad and worried. Holding himself so tight against the strength of the wind was making him tired.

Early one morning, the bird returned.

‘The King of the Trees’ he began, in an important voice ‘Says, it is the natural order of things for the wind to blow and that you should not resist, but rather bend with it. Breathe the cool fresh air. And as you bend, send down your remaining roots even further into the earth so that you will grow stronger and stronger and support you in your time of need.’

And that is exactly what happened. Every time the wind blew, instead of fighting and berating it for trying to cause it harm, the tree accepted it was the natural order and harnessed the power of the cool, fresh air to drive down roots so deep into the earth that it felt safe and secure and calm once more.

The apple tree is still there, bearing the scar of the damaged root, but stronger now in many ways.

And the tree is central to the garden, appreciated by the family, changing and evolving with the gentle rhythm of the passing seasons, growing older and wiser……… as is the natural order of things…..……

’Prayerise… Picturise …Actualise’ N V Peale

HOPE.....

2011-04-19T02:36:00.000-07:00

It seems that clinicians and consultants feel obliged to be totally honest with their patients these days and, in doing so, do not want to offer ‘false hope’ of recovery.

In my opinion, there is no such thing as ‘false hope’ only ‘hope’. A life without hope of improvement is the fast track to depression.

I have been privileged to be able to help past clients, many of whom had lost hope through M.E., chronic pain or years of mental health problems.

My underlying premise has always been’your body knows how to heal itself and all you have to do is provide the right conditions in which that can happen. There is clear evidence of this. You can cut your finger and over a period of days, observe how it repairs and mends all by itself, and you don't need to do anything for that to happen, so we know the mechanism is there.’

A doctor friend said to me recently, ‘medicine is what we do to distract the patient while nature takes its course.’

We know that the placebo effect is a real phenomenon and clinicians should also be aware of the nocebo effect, the power of negative expectation, similar to the voodoo curse.

I am a bereavement counsellor also and was disturbed to attend a talk given by a hospice worker who, to illustrate her point about total honesty with a dying patient, told the story of a man who asked his consultant how long he had to live.

The consultant replied, ‘no more than 28 days.’

After the man died, the hospice worker was at the house and noticed a calendar on the wall with every day crossed off since that conversation. The crosses ended on day 27.

I think there is a lesson for us all there.

Frances Masters MBACP (Accred) UKRCP GHGI

www.oldthatchcoaching.co.uk

the psychotherapeutic coach

2011-01-21T05:22:00.000-08:00

Frances Masters is part of a new wave of mental health professionals, owner and CEO of Old Thatch Coaching, Counselling and Training Consultants based in Bedfordshire.

Client oriented, accountable and focused on positive outcomes, Frances incorporates findings from latest mental health research and neuroscience to help clients move forward quickly and effectively.

Frances is the originator of the S.T.O.P System©: a dynamic integration of Human Givens, CBT and Advanced Coaching skills that produce fast results to help break unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaviour.

Anxiety, depression, trauma, anger, phobias and addictions, all respond well to the S.T.O.P System.

Frances provides personal coaching and counselling and also corporate training for mental health professionals, carers and therapists with workshops and seminars that promote emotional intelligence for wellbeing.

The book by Dr Graeme Browne, 'Liberate Yourself from Pain' includes a case study by Frances which illustrates the use of modern and effective psyotherapeutic techniques and principles.

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In 2008, Frances co founded the charity Reclaim Life which offers free therapeutic coaching based on her fusion model of counselling,coaching and human givens .